'There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.' Churchill
Do you feel you would express yourself better if you didn't get emotional?
Turn your emotions into your biggest allies
An in-depth one-on-one online coaching program
do you feel that emotions - whether your own or other people's - make relationships more difficult?
You want to be able to express yourself honestly and build strong, trustworthy relationships without emotions getting in the way?
before you came across this website:
You are good at communicating in general. But you have been avoiding "hard" or emotional talks.
When you get emotional, you struggle to identify your own emotions which makes it hard to communicate them to others. You struggle to express yourself as soon as emotions take over. You can become angry, cry or simply shut down and don't talk. You then feel disappointed with yourself for failing to communicate clearly.
Your career is going well but you have realised that avoiding difficult conversations might be holding you back.
You have strong boundaries which can make it difficult for you to trust or connect with others. Or, on the contrary, you are not very good at protecting yourself and often end up getting hurt. You find it difficult to give or accept negative feedback.
You feel that you attract the wrong kind of partner.
You attract people that are often emotionally unavailable, or not willing to commit to the kind of relationships you are looking for. They might be okay to commit, but they fall short when it comes to action.
Something happened and you are reassessing your life.
You have gone through something (disease, loss, depression, divorce etc) which lead you to question your choices in life. You want to build strong, powerful relationships in your life that are based on trust and honesty.
You are struggling with stress and anxiety. You may even have a so-called lifestyle disease.
You feel you tend to "abandon yourself"
You focus on pleasing others first, even if it means sacrificing yourself. You can't stand seeing other people angry or sad. As a result, you feel like you give more than you receive and that people don't know the real you.
the problem is:
You have tried to work on this yourself but you're stuck.
Emotions are good at taking over. This makes it difficult to see and think clearly, to take a step back.
Every time you promise yourself you won't avoid that emotional conversation, emotions take over and you fail.
Or a voice tells you to drop it even before you start. Either way, you leave feeling frustrated and disappointed in yourself.
You don't think there is a solution to your problem.
You have not been able to find help from outside because most communication courses focus on other skills, such as negotiation or leadership which is not what you're looking for. You're not even sure that there is a solution, out there, to this problem.
i know, i've been there
Until not too long ago, I didn’t even know I was avoiding difficult conversations. If I knew I was about to enter a difficult conversation, I somehow managed to convince myself that I didn’t need whatever I was going to talk about in the first place. And if, despite my best efforts, I did find myself in a situation or a conversation that stirred up emotions, I would shut down to avoid crying and just agree to whatever the other said. I would then go on and do what I wanted to do, regardless. With hindsight, this has created a lot of misunderstandings and hurt along the way both for others and myself. But I didn’t even know that, at the time.
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS, a so-called lifestyle disease. Since I've always been on the healthy side, I assumed this was because of the stress of running two businesses and leading a busy life.
But as I dug deeper, I realised it was not what I did in life but rather how I did it.
This took me on a journey where I had to start having a lot of conversations that I didn’t even realise I had put off. A journey where I had to start paying attention to, and then understand, what my emotions were telling me.
It wasn’t easy. Emotions are messy, and so are difficult conversations. I spent a lot of time (and money!), lots of failures and some successes learning how to understand this better. I learned to put it into practice in a way that made a real difference in my life. I now know that it is possible to learn to have successful emotional conversations, both with ourselves and others.
I also know that this will radically change the quality of your relationships, making them and you much stronger but also better equipped to connect with others all the while protecting yourself.
a step in the right direction
Emotions are good at taking over. This makes it difficult to see and think clearly, to take a step back
You don't need to do see a therapist for 10 years (though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!) to find a solution.
Nor do you need to become a hard, tough and heartless person (or, on the contrary, a complete "softie") to be able to have difficult conversations.
Actually, the only way you can have effective and honest emotional conversations is by being true to yourself.
But you also need the tools to identify and understand your own emotions clearly, as well as a step-by-step guide to learn how, when and why to have an emotional conversation.
And more importantly, you need to learn how to handle the consequences and after-effects of these conversations.
Once you will be able to think clearly through your emotions and communicate them effectively, fairly and kindly, you will open up the door to a quality of relationship you may not even know existed. You will be able to remain true to yourself and express this true self while knowing how to stay protected while connecting powerfully with others.
This will significantly reduce the stress and anxiety (if not make it disappear altogether) and give you the platform to grow, to take your work and relationships to the next level.
8 steps to mastering emotional talks
Step 1 - Learn the why
Understand why it is so difficult to have emotional conversations.
Step 2 - Tools for success
Learn how to beat resistance and build new habits
Step 3 - Emotions, emotions, emotions
Understand what your emotions are telling you
Step 4 - Needs Vs Wants
Know what you need and the difference with what you want
Step 5 - Breaking out of bad patterns
Identify your triggers and negative patterns to break out of them
Step 6 - Establish healthy boundaries
Learn to set boundaries that help you connect while keeping you protected
Step 7 - Effective communication
Learn to express yourself and listen effectively
Step 8 - Understanding your spheres of influence
Know what you can change and how, and what you can’t and how to deal with it
Emotions, and forward! is an 18-week (approx 5 months) individual and personalised program to:
understand your emotions and how to deal with them so that they don’t take over
uncover your needs and self worth
establish healthy boundaries with others
communicate effectively with others while being aligned with your values and without letting your emotions take over
lead and inspire others with ethics, in line with your values
This program is ideal if you're looking to become a master communicator, if you want the skillset to build strong, dependable relationships that will allow you to grow as a person as well as create an environment conducive for others around you to grow too. You will know how to stand up for what you care about without hurting others. You will also know tools to get things done (and ethically influence people). This will be an invaluable tool for your growth, both in the professional and personal realms.
By the end, you will be able to know what is going on in your mind when you feel emotional and what to do about it. You will no longer see emotions as a burden or a block but rather as allies that you can count on and use for your personal development and growth.
You will be able to identify clearly when your boundaries and others' boundaries are not being respected. You will have the tools to set up good boundaries that will enable you to connect with others in a healthy way all the whilst protecting yourself.
The program includes:
1 X 60 minutes one-on-one live sessions (on Zoom) every 2 weeks for a total of 9 sessions
Each session is designed to work on specific areas, check in on your progress, work through any difficulties, make sure you stay on track and stay motivated
The last session is a “flying off” session with a clear personalised step-by-step exit plan with a strategy to implement everything you have learned going forward
Personalised e-learning modules to create a support as well as give you some practical tasks to overcome the challenges that are specific to you
1 X 30 minutes “checking in” session two months after the end of our program to see if all is going well and work on any new difficulties that may have arisen
Do you feel like this program is for you? Do you want to know more about it?
The next step is to book a discovery session (free) to help you (and me!) figure out if it is the right fit.
what we will work on
Uncover what your needs really are
Identify negative patterns & triggers to break out of them and create new ones
Establish healthy boundaries to help you connect with others while protecting yourself
Tools for effective, fair and kind communication so you can express yourself better
Become an active listener by asking the right questions
Understand spheres of influence so you can handle and be more effective with the outcomes of emotional conversations
Learn how to build new habits and overcome resistance for lang lasting changes
a few months from today you could:
Be confident in your ability to read and understand your own emotions, where they are coming from and what they are telling you. You will know whether or not to act upon them.
Stop avoiding emotional conversations and start engaging them. You will know what you need to say and how you need to express yourself to communicate effectively
Come out of a difficult conversation feeling good about yourself, secure in the knowledge that you were able to communicate clearly as well as listen.
Feel better about yourself, less stressed and less anxious
Take your life, relationships and work to the next level thanks to the stronger relationships you are building with others based on honesty and trust.
5 reasons to invest money to learn how to master emotional conversations
“Don’t compromise yourself - you’re all you have”
You are your single most important asset. This is a skill that will enable you to grow not only faster and more sustainably, but also whilst being true to yourself.
No one will ever be able to have these difficult conversations for you.
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”
Doing something with someone else increases accountability and significantly reduces the chances of you giving up, which is very easy to do on your own.
Your accountability partner (me!) will keep you engaged and motivated, even when the going gets tough.
Investing money makes you have “skin in the game.”
The more you invest, the more likely you will take your investment to fruition.
A personalised program always makes the difference.
Each person is different and therefore has unique needs. A program that is tailored to your needs will make it that much more likely that you will follow it until the end and, more importantly, much more likely to have a real impact in your life.
“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”
A structured program makes something which seems very difficult tangible, with a beginning, a middle and an end.
How different would your relationships, and therefore your life be if you were able to have honest, kind and effective communication even in emotional and difficult situations?
Is this program for you?
This program is for you if:
You are open to new ideas and concepts and like to make up your own mind
You are willing to step out of your comfort zone if you believe it can work
You are used to working hard and ready to put in the effort
You are driven and on a journey of self-improvement
You want to take your work and personal life to the next level in an ethical way
This program is NOT for you if:
You don’t think you have the energy and time to put the effort in at the moment (wait until you’re really ready to commit!)
You expect me to do the work for you :)
You are not ready to face emotions which can be difficult or unpleasant
Frequently asked questions
Can't I learn to control my emotions without having to go through the "inner" journey?
No, you can't. If you did that, you would just be repressing or denying your emotions, something which will take a toll on your mind and body and will create a lot of issues later on. You cannot control something you don't understand, which is why the first (and most important) step is to understand your own emotions.
I feel like I know myself quite well already, I've got some help in the past but I still struggle with my emotions. Can you help?
Sometimes we think we know ourselves (I sure used to think I did!) but we may be missing something, or focusing on the wrong thing. If you feel like you understand your emotions well already, I can help you with the tools and skillset to know how to manage them so that they don't take over. I can help you become an EXPERT at your emotions and an EXPERT at communicating them. At the end of the day, only YOU can become an expert in YOU.
I am not sure I am ready to face my own emotions. Should I still do it?
That's okay. You should be proud of yourself for realising this and even prouder for checking in with yourself and asking if it is the right thing to do. I suggest you sign up for a free discovery session and we can work out together if this program makes sense for you at this time.
I don't have any emotional issues, I feel like I am in control of my emotions, but I would like to become a better communicator. Would this program help and do I still need to do the part on emotions?
Yes. Yes. And yes! Think of it like signing up to a new gym. You may already know how to use the machines but the gym manager will still make you go through an introduction and will see for him/herself whether you do know how to use them (who knows - you could discover a new useful way to use them in the process!). It's the same here, we go through each phase together. Everyone is different and each of us takes more or less time going through each step. This is why this program is tailor-made. We will adapt to your needs and your requirements but we still need to go through all the steps, we will just adapt the pace accordingly.
I have some traumas in my life that are affecting me today. Is this the right program for me?
It depends on what you want. I am not a psychologist or a psychotherapist. As a coach, we will dig into some important moments of your past as a stepping stone to identify what you need to do to go forward. This program is about making changes and acting upon them. If this is what you want then yes, we will work together on making this happen.
Price of the program
USD 1,750 if paid in one go - SAVE USD 250
USD 400/month if paid in 5 monthly instalments for a total of USD 2,000
[UPDATE: The price of the program will be going up (by quite a bit) on May 15, 2021]