Who wouldn't want a shortcut when there's one to be had, right?
(Image source: unsplash)
When I first put together my Stuff Talks emotional communication programs, I knew I would need close to 3 months of coaching to help someone to the extent I wanted to help.
However, it felt very scary to ask prospective clients to commit to 3 months, and so I offered the option of breaking my two full programs into smaller parts. I thought it would make them more accessible, and therefore increase my impact and my ability to help others get better at communicating their emotions (which, in case you didn’t already know, I think is life changing!).
With the benefit of hindsight and several finished programs, I have decided that offering the smaller programs was counterproductive.
But before I tell you why, I want to take you on the journey that I take my clients on.
In order for me to be able to help someone become really good at communicating and controlling their emotions, I first need to help them understand their own emotions, which will, in turn, enable them to uncover what their needs really are as well as analyse their feelings with regards to their self-worth. At this point, we can start working on boundaries which are key to keeping each of us safe AND protected. And finally, once the boundaries are clear, we look at the communication side of things.
Many of my clients initially approach me saying they want to get better at communicating, and that their emotions get in the way of that. Because of how society works, they believe that you can “fix” communication without worrying about emotions. But you cannot, not if you want to communicate in a way that is aligned with your true values. On the other hand, once you have done the work on emotions and boundaries, communication becomes really, really easy.
By splitting my full program into parts, I have been allowing people to just work on their emotions. The great thing is that this has been effective beyond my hopes. The less good part is that several clients were so pleased with the transformation that they didn’t feel the need to continue and do the subsequent parts of the program. While I take this as a tremendous compliment, it left me feeling that I was letting people go back to their lives without the full set of tools required to make long lasting transformations. I felt I was letting people go without having achieved the whole spectrum of what they wanted to achieve in their lives.
Some of these clients who only did the first or first two parts of my program are now coming back, realising that there is more to work on to reach where they want to be, and I’m very thankful for that.
But I feel that the reason I launched Stuff Talks was to be able to really have an impact by helping those who want to master emotional communication, and that I am doing a disservice both to myself and to those I want to help by offering what can easily appear like a shortcut.
When I think back to the 6-month coaching program I took earlier (you can read about it here), I admit I would probably have gone for a shorter program had the coach offered it. But she didn’t: the shortest was 6 months! With hindsight, I can see that I would have missed a lot by opting for a shorter version.
This is why, after much thought, I have decided to scrap my short programs and will only offer my two full programs, Emotions, forward! and Embody the change!
You are welcome to check them out here:
Emotions, forward! (Only online)
Embody the change! (Online + with horses at our centre)